Of course you don't. If you did I'd be slightly perturbed to discover you all had some form of collective, long distance psychic ability that would presumably render this blog, and any form of news reporting utterly redundant. Though if you did have such a great power, why the hell would you be wasting it on me? Perhaps some of you do have this power, but are using it for a greater cause. Or perhaps for evil, I can't presume you are all potential superheroes in the making.
The day I'm looking forward to is not tomorrow, but the day after, which, for those of you reading this after the fact (where were you?) is Thursday the 23rd May 2013.
What's so special about this day? Well, actually, it's pay day, and that would be ample reason to celebrate its arrival. The replenishment of the old bank account is always a cause for
So why, you ask, am I looking forward to Thursday? Those of you without psychic abilities do anyway. The rest of you, well, I'm suspicious of you now. I mean, if you have these invasive mind drilling powers, just peering at your own whim into peoples minds, who's monitoring you? I demand answers, once I'm done blogging I'm writing to Patrick Stewart to demand he explains himself.
I'll tell you why I'm looking forward to Thursday. Hurrah you cry. Perhaps huzzah. It may only be an internal cheer. An inner leap of delight. Whatever form it takes, it will be a relief I'm sure; a release from the infernal torture of pointless side-bar conversation that brings no added value whatsoever to the point in hand.
Today, being Tuesday, is the day before adorable wife's endometriosis operation, making Thursday the day after that. Therefore today is the day before the day before the day after. Perhaps there is a cleverer, more concise way of stating that fact, but there you go, I've made my choice and there's nothing you can do about it, even if you are psychic, because that's predicting before, not changing after, so ha ha ha.
Today is bowel prep day. Which is never a fun day for those involved. It's considered an extreme method of bowel cleansing, compared to an enema, which is the quick and easy option, as far as I can tell. The pre-op nurse even noted that the hospital was considering removing the citramag bowel prep and replacing it with an enema on the day of the operation itself. Why she bothered mentioning this when it isn't the case as yet I don't know.
So adorable wife is in the process of rushing to the loo frequently and I am doing my best not to be openly hungry or eat when in view.
Wednesday, will therefore, be an early start, the drive to the hospital, the prepping, seeing adorable wife carted off on a trolley, and the long wait for her return. Then she'll be back, all tubed and drugged up. Then I'll drive home alone.
That'll be Wednesday.
Thus, my hope for Thursday is a drive back to the hospital, to see adorable wife happier and more awake and ready to return home in the afternoon.
Bring on the day after the day before the day before.