Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Guest blogging on my on blog

This is a blog post, to tell you I have another blog post. 

Just to explain, I am not retiring from being an adventuring procrastinator, it is more that the current blog and moniker made little sense in the context of my new project. What I had realised, after a long break from writing here, was that without a good subject matter, I was running dry of material. I just don't find my own life interesting enough to write about on a weekly, or even fortnightly basis! Originally I had Clara Bow and the Seal of Solomon as my drive, the whole point of this blog being a public journal of my effort to write it, in order to push its finish.

And finish it I did, so one purpose of the blog was eliminated. Although I'm writing a follow-up, the fact that the first exists, and people are wanting a continuation, is the drive I need to keep on with The Staff of Aaron. 

Another subject I covered frequently was adorable wife's struggle with Endometriosis. Yet again, this matter has, at present, been successfully resolved. I certainly don't wish a relapse, merely to give me inspiration. No indeed, we're very much happy with the current status quo. But let's face it, a happy relationship has no drama to speak of, and therefore, much as I am not too fussed on looking inward, I don't see the need to publically discuss the daily goings on in our home life.

Which leads us to my new project Banbury Pulse. I'll not explain too much here, because the blog speaks for itself. I'm very excited about where this is heading at the moment. This time I'm looking outward, to my local community, and the people that make things happen. The first was about me, to give readers an idea of who I am and why I'm choosing to write the new blog.

I hope those who have followed this blog will also like my new, more focused blog. I will pop back here once in a while, when I have something worthy of sharing with you all, something that is all about me! Please let me have any feedback. I only created the design and layout on Sunday, so  I'm sure I have a little tweaking to do.

Without further waffling ado, here's my new blog link:   Banbury Pulse

Sunday, 12 April 2015

Writing, healthy living, and my future in Banbury

Hi there!

Yes, I'm still alive. Still writing. Still on book two of my Clara Bow saga. Still on my Kick Start Fat Loss healthy living and exercising drive.

I've found getting attuned to a new lifestyle has taken some time, and perhaps it's merely an excuse, but I have found less inspiration and energy to sit and write as much as I used to. When I have written, it has been with one purpose, to get Clara further towards the end of The Staff of Aaron. That has been the sole focus of my creative energies for the past few months, and it has paid off with the story very close to climax.

It's not that I have less energy, indeed, I have more throughout the day job, and into the evening. But waking up at 5.45 for a 6.15 exercise start three days a week, inevitably means I'm ready to sleep earlier than I used to. Two days a week I have an evening exercise, which means I have no chance to do any writing. And cooking everything fresh and from scratch for breakfast, lunch, and dinner means I spend more time prepping to eat. I still cook enough dinner to last several days, and of course adorable wife cooks too, but it does seem there's always a meal required! I'm not complaining mind, it's a great healthy eating regime, and frankly the results speak for themselves! In the five months since I started I have lost 2 stone and numerous inches. Adorable wife is certainly getting more and more impressed with my more toned body...

Perhaps it's just become habit now, rather than a conscious effort, but I finally feel that I'm better placed to manage the day job, the healthier lifestyle, and my creative desires. I meet up with a friend every two weeks to work on a screenplay we'll one day, probably far, far into the future, make into a movie, or webisodes. The novel has been progressing sporadically but successfully, when I get a few clear days to sit and type. I find squeezing in an hour or so after work impractical, preferring a good run at a few hours worth of typing. I have a few days booked off work in May, so they will be well used. And adorable wife is going to be working Saturdays for a while now, so some of them will be set aside for Clara. 

What I find is any gap allows me to keep the pace fresh, rather than getting bogged down in one detail, I am ready to progress to the next element, like a reader coming back, breathless to know what next happens in the tale.

I still know where I want to go with As Bright as the Fading Ark, but I'm aware it is frustratingly stalled right now. I'm wary of trying to promise myself, and by extension my readers, that I can manage all the writing, and in many ways, I still want most of my writing focus to be Clara. I'll just play that one by ear. After all, if I re-commit to Clara, Ebbe, this blog and my screenplay, that's four writing projects up in the air at the same time. Perhaps that was always too ambitious when I work full time. Maybe, or maybe I just need to push myself and try ridiculously hard, push like I have with my health drive. At the start I never imagined I could wake up so early and leave the house to exercise, but that's become normal. Why not the same for my creative efforts? I'll just see how it goes.

I have a seed of an idea for this blog, something to give me source material and a focus, rather than the random ramblings I sometimes foist upon those foolish enough (I mean kind enough) to read one of these here blogs. It's something of a business plan, a way to promote my local area Banbury, get me writing, and get known in the community. I'll just have to see how that pans out too. 

All in all, I'm happy and feeling positive. I'm not going to beat myself up for what I haven't done, I will simply aim high and see what I hit.

Thanks if you've stuck with me in the last few dry months (and the times before).  Sometimes one just needs to take stock and reconsider our goals and aspirations. I'm not going anywhere, and I never will. 

Well, I am going now, but only to put the first cog into the machine that is my new future plan. 


Thursday, 1 January 2015

Happy New Year!

The ringing in of a new year becomes a natural time to draw a line the sand, to feel reflective and stupidly optimistic about the future. 

I'm not setting any resolutions this year. I rarely do. Why should the line the Gregorian calendar sets be the one that makes any resolutions more effective? I had already resolved to get fitter and healthier and that journey has already begun, so as I cross from 2014 to 2015, I am only having to continue down the same path. I had already resolved to write my second Clara Bow novel. That is nearing its end, and with a little more effort it shall be completed. I'm not going to beat myself up for not finishing within the year, the fact that I aimed for that, and got as much done as I did is enough for me. 

What I did do last night, before the year was out, was clear off the nonsense and junk from my phone. The apps I didn't use, and the apps I used too much for no real gain. Anything that resulted in me staring at the screen for ages, without achieving anything, browsing for daft or funny images, is now gone. Placed in high prominence is my Clara Bow Facebook page, always right in front of me, reminding me to post something, or write something! All the positive social media apps are also sitting prominently at the top, quick and easy access to all the positive people in my life. I've added some health and mindfulness apps and re-organised the productivity apps. 

I want my pocket technology to encourage me to move forward, and to inspire productivity, not drain my time and creativity. 

As for the new year, well, it shall certainly contain more Clara. I can almost smell the pages of the new book! There will be the need for some proof reading, so anyone who wants to get their hands on a preview copy should make themselves known, so I can get one in your hands to check for typos and downright idiocy!

It shall also contain more Ebbe. Poor old Ebbe of my Fading Ark blog novel. Always being left behind in dramatic situations not knowing what shall happen next. Again, I'm actually very close to reaching a natural closing point for the current story trajectory, and the fact that she was not wholly abandoned in 2014 is encouragement enough for me to get back on it.

There have been many sad and tragic moments in 2014, many lives senselessly lost, lives cut short by disease or disaster. There is nothing we can do about these horrible events, other than live the best lives we can, while we are lucky enough to have lives to live. I shall be positive, happy, and do all I can to share good times with those close to me. 

Sunday, 23 November 2014

My efforts to stick to the Kick Start Fat Loss diet

Greetings bloggites! Firstly apologies for the delay! During this time I actually had two weeks off, so you'd think I'd have more time to write. But what time I did have I allocated solely to Clara Bow and the Staff of Aaron. The bad news is I still didn't manage to finish it. But the good news is, the end is nigh! To that end this blog, and my tortuously slowly progressing blog novel may suffer, as I feel that overall, if I have time to sit and write, it is best used on Clara. Once the second book is finished, I'll have some peace of mind that it hasn't dragged on too long, and will be more prolific on this blog and the Fading Ark.

So I've been writing. But I've also continued my healthier living efforts. I am now officially signed up to Kick Start Fat Loss and it is now four weeks since I had coffee, wheat, gluten or anything processed. I've also completed my first full 5 day week of exercise sessions, which consist of HIIT and kettlebells.  It also involves dragging myself from bed at 5.45am, ready for a 6.30am workout, 3 days out of the 5! The amazing thing is that results are already visible. The bloated gut is diminishing and adorable wife is constantly admiring what she calls the 'apples' that have appeared on my biceps. I still have a way to go before I slim down, and tone up, fully, but it's encouraging to see real world results so soon.

The other aspect of this regime is having to ensure I eat properly. As I mentioned I've cut out various baddies from my diet, and now have a much healthier breakfast and lunch. An omelette has become my staple breakfast, and a salad with a meat has become my lunch. Dinner is not much different from before, but I am trying to cut out white rice, because it's not actually on my 'shopping list' from KSFL, so am breaking the rules by having it!

The group frequently share our meals on a private facebook page, to show how good, or bad, we have been, and to help encourage each other to stick with the good foods. Therefore I thought it would be nice to share my recent meals!

This is spicy saucy beef with choi sum and turmeric cabbage. Broke the rules a little with this because there was some ketchup in the sauce. Next time we shall have to make our own ketchup!

This was one of my early lunch efforts. Smoked salmon on salad. Simple but scrummy!

More salmon here. This time curried for dinner, with stir fried kale, and miso soup with seaweed. The white rice is naughty! Bad starchy carbs!

This is an example of my staple breakfasts. A spinach, enoki mushroom, button mushroom and chilli omelette. Really delicious.

This is my work lunch box. Usually filled with a large salad, and here I had some leftover curried salmon and some avocado.

This was a lamb stew, with loads of amazing vegetable, like sweet potato, courgette, carrot and parsnips. Quite spicy too, thanks to a healthy dose of chillies!

Another one of my lunches to the right. This time I had cooked chicken thighs with coriander and chilli (which is an ingredient that shows up a lot in my dishes! Certainly couldn't live without it). The salad dressing is a simple mix of extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar. In this instance, I had also added some fresh chopped coriander.

Below is another partial cheat. It's spicy tomato mackerel. But the fish was tinned, which means it must have had some preservatives. I did check and it was very low on the sugar content so I think it wasn't the greatest sin of them all. But next time, it should be from the fresh fish counter.

This is one of my favourite breakfasts! It's a banana and cinnamon omelette. A wonderful post work-out treat!

I made this yesterday for my breakfast because I totally forgot to buy eggs when I went shopping on Friday! Huge mistake when eggs are a staple element of your diet! This is a turkey thigh stir fry, with red peppers, cabbage, courgettes, and... what else? Chilli of course!.

This was lunch yesterday. Smoked salmon and avocado salad. Simple and delicious!

Overall I'm finding that having a heavy omelette for breakfast and a large salad for lunch is keeping me going just fine. The whole point of this is not to snack between meals. So far that has worked out, and I have resisted the cakes, biscuits and chocolates table at work. I have also donated my unopened cereal to local food bank.

Who knows, if I get some really good results soon, I may even become brave enough to post my before and after photos!! Currently the 'before' photos are held in a secure facility that even the members of IMF would struggle to access.
I'm off to have a fruit tea! Catch you all very soon.


Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Shove it sugar - Week Two

On the 27th of October I started a sugar free and exercise five day regime via work, called Shove it Sugar!

The title is a little misleading because actually we were encouraged to cut out not just sugar, but wheat, gluten and caffeine. To be honest, the thought of not eating chocolate, biscuits and sweets was not really an issue for me. We still have a few chocolates leftover that adorable wife bought at last years Banbury food fair! Neither of us are big bread eaters, but we do usually have a fry up and toast on the weekends for breakfast, and usually end up making sandwiches for lunch during the week. 

But actually adorable wife doesn't really like sandwiches, finding them too dry. Therefore cutting out bread didn't seem too tricky either. 

My first attempt at home made healthy bread

Coffee, well, that's a different story. I don't over-indulge, honest I don't. I have freshly ground beans, via the coffee machine in the morning, and then a coffee pod via the Dolce Gusto machine at work. And that's usually it. Apparently when people cut out coffee, even when they only drink one cup, they usually have headaches, but I was fortunate to have no issues whatsoever. I hope that means I'm not overly addicted, and caffeine hasn't been having a negative impact on my body. But right now, when I'm at home, it is the thing I'm missing the most. The machine is just around the corner from where I'm sitting and I have coffee I'd already ground before the week starting calling to me! 

But I shall be strong. I don't think I'll cut caffeine out of my life forever, but I will hold out for a 28 day period for a bit of a detox and then stick to one cup of fresh coffee per day and cut out the capsules, because it's harder to know what chemical treatment they have been through.

The first set of exercises on the 27th were after work and was what is called a HIIT. That's High Intensity Interval Training to the layman. It involves 20 seconds of intense exercise followed by 10 seconds rest, followed by a 20 further seconds of a different exercise, the break, and back to the previous exercise. You do three sets of these 20 seconds, 10 seconds cycles, and this takes about half an hour, and then you're done! Well that's the theory, but about 20 minutes in my head started to swim and I had to pause, before finally giving in completely and laying on the floor. Sindy, the instructor, suggested it was better to walk it off, and so I tried, but my head was clouding up and I knew I need to be on the floor! I recovered slowly, talking to Tanya, the lady who would do our meditation sessions later, and felt myself able to get back up and take part in the stretches at the end. It wasn't really the physical effort that foiled me, but the dizziness that threatened to topple me.

The next day, my thighs were destroyed! It was incredibly difficult to sit, stand, walk up or down stairs, or even slopes. Yet I had agreed to walk to work with my friend, rather than drive, for the rest of the week. So despite the discomfort I wobbled all the way up the (mild) hill, oohing and ahing the whole way. Crossing the road was a much greater challenge than normal because if the timing was off, I couldn't make a dash for it, the legs just wouldn't cope!

Worse still, that day the lunch time event was another walk! But I got a lot of mileage on my pedometer, so from that perspective I did well.

Wednesday lunch time was relax and stretch, and I think this more gentle exercise did a lot of good in setting my body back on track. Thursday was Pilates, which I thoroughly enjoyed and will certainly do again. Friday was another HIIT, but as it was lunchtime it was, thankfully, a lighter version. Also by Friday, much to my relief, my legs started to feel functional and normal again. Walking down stairs now became possible without holding the handrail! I wasn't broken after all!

My lunch today! Couldn't resist a little butter...

Every morning I had been cooking scrambled eggs or omelettes, rather than having cereal as normal, and I did find that kept me in good stead until a large salad for lunch. The trick was to mix in some extra ingredients from the list, such as spinach and smoked salmon. I was surprised to find that I quickly took to this heavier breakfast. 

As of Wednesday I also dared to try one of the hardest suggestions of the week; a cold shower! Initially I was only brave enough to wash my face while standing out of the water. Eventually I had no choice but to plunge under, instantly feeling the iciness grasp at the skin on my back. Gasp! It's electric and I couldn't hold, having to side-step and keep dipping under and back out of the water. Apparently it's good for me, so I've stuck with it each subsequent morning.

I haven't really changed my evening meals because as a rule they are home cooked and healthy already. Besides, adorable wife isn't on this scheme and I don't intend to enforce it on her, though that is happening to a degree due to not purchasing certain items, such as bread. 

So, cooked breakfasts, leafy salads for lunch, home cooked food, no sugar, wheat, gluten or caffeine, cold showers, and knackering work outs... What has this all meant for me in only five days?

Well, I went from 71kg to 70.7kg. So there was a little weight loss, which isn't really my goal, I would be happy to lose my pregnant gut and gain muscle elsewhere really. I also appeared to have lost an inch from my waist and hips. Which in five days isn't too shabby and encouraged me enough to stick with it going forward.

On Saturday I went to Sindy's YouTube workouts and did one of the HIIT sessions she kindly recorded. I tell you what, I was glad for the cold shower after doing that! That appears to be the trick. Work out and THEN have a cold shower.

This is what I did:


I also tried the Tabata training in the afternoon. I sweat half my body weight away on that one. Needed another cold shower after this one...


She says to start all over again as it's "only" three rounds. Heeeeelll nooo! Once around the tabata block was enough for me right now thanks very much!

Now I'm off work and thought I wanted a bit of eating variety. Sindy kindly supplied me with a healthier bread recipe, so I gave it go this morning, in time for my lunch with the usual salad. The results can be seen in the photos above. I was pleasantly surprised that it worked first time, even if it is a little small. It's a flax meal loaf, made with no flour, and no yeast and took me just over 30 minutes! It's very light and soft, and full of flavour. Not bad going for a first effort.

So the adventure continues. I continue keeping away from the processed foods where possible, and will attend some of Sindy's official sessions, as well as doing them at home. I do feel energised and hopeful that I'm getting fitter and healthier and can keep the momentum going.

Monday, 27 October 2014

Shove it sugar week - Day One!

On the 26th October 2014 I weighed 71kg, my chest was 37.5", my waist was 38", my hips 39", and apparently my left thigh is half an inch bigger than my right, being 22" and 22" respectively. My biceps are a barely worth mentioning 11.5" each.

I exclaimed greatly when adorable wife measured my hips at larger than my waist, seeing as all I can see looking downwards is gut. She politely reminded me my bum was also sticking out the other side.

Photos were taken, the kind you take for your before, normally looking glum, unwashed, and all grey tones. Should I see results I presumably need to take happy smiling ones. Though I made a before faux pas by looking reasonably happy in the before. This despite the experience being a gruesome one, where I let the gut hang out in all it's glory. Honestly, if I were a lady, you might ask me when the baby is due. I'd say I have another 3 months left.

What, you cry, is the point of all this measuring and photographic shaming?

A friend asked me if I'd attend something called Shove it Sugar week at work. It was simply to accompany the first presentation so he could see what it was all about. The attendance was poor, and the lady, Sindy, was enthusiastic and inspiring, so it seemed a worthwhile idea to sign up and see if my lifestyle is below par.

Not that I needed someone to tell me that was the case. Frankly I spend most of my work life on a chair, and then come home to spend most of the evening on the couch, watching TV, or in the current case, writing on the laptop. Since getting the car I've stopped walking to work, and despite a valiant effort to become a jogger, once the weather turned nasty I wimped out.

As far as food was concerned, I was pretty confident that I wasn't a terrible eater. I don't put sugar in my hot drinks, don't indulge in biscuits and sweet treats, and am not really a fan of junk food. That said, Asian cooking, although it can be healthy, can also be very oily, and you usually leave the fat on meat when cooking. We also have white rice with pretty much every meal. And we do occasionally treat ourselves to a nice unhealthy desserts, bad things, bad bad things. I mean, not serial killer bad. Though one could argue that sugar is currently a serial killer, the ultimate bad guy!

Today was the beginning. We're supposed to cut out sugar for the next five days. I don't think that will be too much of an issue for me, I'm not big on sweetening everything I eat or drink. Next, we've been given a list of good foods, though this is not a diet, just a suggestion of healthy foods to eat. Mostly it's about cooking a decent breakfast, and eating lots of leafy greens, partnered with something meaty.

For my breakfast I tried to make a mushroom omelette, but in my morning haste I left the egg on the pan too long and it ended up far too dry. The only way I managed to chew my way through it was to sip coffee in-between mouthfuls. It was only pointed out to me later in the day that coffee was not on the menu for breakfast. Caffeine is another drug that should be limited. So green teas and water from now on!

I ate nothing else until lunch, only drinking water post-breakfast. Lunch was actually something I'd been eating already, a leafy salad with hard-boiled egg and chicken. I just added more greens than usual, as instructed! My friend and I even did a bit of extra credit by walking briefly after eating, having picked up a pedometer each, to record each step. We'll be walking to work tomorrow morning, and for the rest of the week. Shed pounds, save pounds, winner all round!

Post work there was a HIIT work-out! For those not in the know that stands for High Intensity Interval Training. This was going to be the toughest part of the training by far. Upon arrival we discovered only one other hardy soul had bothered to turn up, so we felt a sense of pride at actually participating. We learned that the principles of HIIT is 20 seconds of workout, followed by 10 seconds break, followed by another 20 seconds. The 10 seconds is really just the time it takes to shift to the next exercise.

I think I was okay for the physical side, though it was a struggle, I'm no Olympian that's for sure. Squats, running on the spot, sit-ups and push-ups were all punishing my lazy muscles. But worse still, about half way along in the training, my head began to feel light and fuzzy. My vision was unfocused and I needed to take a genuine break. Sindy advised I walk it off, rather than sit still, so I tried but quickly found my head was swimming and I needed a lie down!

I managed to revive in time for the stretches at the end and redeem myself somewhat, before forcing my jelly legs back down the stairs and into the car for the slovenly drive home.

Sindy is kindly going to visit first thing in the morning to do a blood sugar test, to see if she can help identify the cause of my light-headedness. It is something I experienced when I used to jog last year, and as I got used to the exercise it did die down, but it shows that I lack something, hopefully nothing I can't replenish with the right diet!

So, I'm at the cusp of a, currently only 5 day journey, but who knows, will my weight change? My muscles increase? My energy levels improve? Will anything change? I hope I find something from all this, and I hope it can make me healthier for a lifetime. But for now, 5 days is the short goal, because exercise is the easiest thing to dive into, and ditch not longer after.

And I am, after all, a procrastinator. So, wish me luck!

Saturday, 18 October 2014

A day in the life of a procrastinator

The oblivion of sleep is punctured by a vague recollection that reality is about to shift plains. Within an indefinable time-frame an unnatural noise signals that my mind needs to change gears, and it shuts off the link between dreams and consciousness. My arm moves to tap the cancel button on the phone, shutting of the light tinkling of melodic bells that acts as an alarm.

The world comes into focus. What was I dreaming about? When did I drift off? Did I wake up during the darkness of night? What day is it? Do I need to make our lunch? 

Adorable wife will have already made it to the shower. Shaking the lethargy from my re-awakening body I'll trot to the kitchen to boil the water for her rooibos tea, and pop an energy fizzer into half a glass of water for me to get the first liquid of the day. 

Teeth. Drink. Shower. Lunch. Breakfast. Leave the house. All within 1 hour and fifteen minutes on an average day. By the time I'm in the car heading to work, any dreams I had are long absent from my mind, locked away forever. Adorable wife is dropped off and I'm on my way to work.

Work consists of attempting to produce something new, with continual punctuation marks provided by colleagues with queries, customers with problems, and technical issues. Lunch arrives before I know it, splicing the day in two. The afternoon continues without mercy, and the day's end arrives, not caring whether my initial goals were completed, started, or even thought about again, after their original inception. 

Back in the car, pick up adorable wife. We're home. Dinner will be wanted, and is often pre-prepared on a free day, so only basics such as rice, side dishes and other niceties are required. 

How was your day? We ask this of each other. I rarely have anything of note to report. I do my job, it treats me well, I respond accordingly. Adorable wife sometimes experiences dramas. On occasion she neglects to tell me about them on the day and I only learn later down the line. Understandably I tick her off for not keeping me in the loop. My concern is for her, and if I don't know all the facts about her day to day life, I can't help. If something unpleasant should come to light, I will obviously be keen to talk it through and see if there is a resolution.

And so, we come to the later stages of the evening, and my second job takes precedence. My second job is to blog about my life and my writing. My second job is to write a sci-fi epic direct to blog, no ret-conning allowed. My second job is to continue the adventures of the Bow family. 

Music is required. Via the hi-fi should the living room be free to do so, via headphones should adorable wife want to watch the TV. I need sounds with melody, with a beat, with some motion within, and it will set the pace, and sometimes the tone, of what I type. Should I be on Clara or the blog novel, and need some action to kick in, I need something fast-paced. This is when I commonly dig out some form of dance music, not something I listen to by default as a rule. I can tolerate dubstep when the mood calls for it, though left on too long it can became wearing on the brain. Electronica, chillout, and other variants on dance will also be called upon to help my typing flow with appropriate gusto.

Should I be required to type something more emotional and thoughtful, I will end up with some form of smooth jazz. Earl Klugh, Brian Culbertson, Dave Koz, and many more. This more relaxed background music can soothe my mind and leave it open for a more studied writing style.

The key is to avoid anything with singing where possible. Hearing the poetry of others, when trying to keep your own voice unique is not beneficial. Though when I hit the writing zone with enough vigour I can effectively block the words and use the beat.

What do I blog to? Pretty much anything really, again, avoiding anything too wordy, which could otherwise prove distracting to the mind, and adversely affect my own tone, or worse, simply distract me from my work. Currently I have an internet radio station playing jazz, lounge and bossa nova, offering an eclectic, but easy-going mix which offers a pleasant background.

I don't set myself a minimum, or maximum, amount of writing to complete because how one feels after an early morning start, a full day of work, and a post-work catch up with the wife, will vary from one day to the next. If I manage at least an hour of focused writing, I would count that as a successful night. Anything above that is a bonus. 

Writing may, in essence, be an easy task. You are simply putting words down on screen, no physical effort required. But after a day of brain draining, it can often be that the mind will simply not offer sufficient resources to practically write something of value. 

Not only that, but adorable wife has herself had a full day, of physically tiring, and mentally wearing hard toil. What if all she has been looking forward to all day was a chilled out night with her hubby? There's only so often I can turn her away and say that I have to knuckle down and stare at the glow of my laptop in favour of a cooch on the couch with the prettiest lady in this galaxy. Sometimes I resist the urge, sometimes I don't. There's no real rhyme or reason to my decision that I know of. Maybe it depends how well she deploys those big brown puppy dog eyes...

Even when I do resist adorable wife, sometimes I can write for three to four hours after a crazy hectic day, and barely manage a sentence after a bog-standard, no-challenge day. Is there something to be argued for the days where the brain is so fired-up from other activity, it stokes the flames of creativity for later? Whereas the less action it has experienced, the more dulled it can be. 

But it's not just the lovely lady of the house. I do also like to keep a toe in some sort of social life. I never was, and still am not, a big socialiser. But you can't shut yourself away in a room and never venture into the big bad world. I've been like that in the past, though have always been lucky to know at least one plucky soul who liked me enough to keep attempting to part me from my beloved movies. I have a fortnightly Thursday outing I attend, and will do the occasional ad-hoc session too. Getting out into the real world is also hugely useful for a writer. Unless you're writing about amphibious goat-men from the planet Grobble, seeing and interacting with real people is the only way to write real characters.

But here be guilt. Because for every night I spend with adorable wife, and for every evening I pop out for drinks with mates, for every TV episode I watch, for every film I settle down to, technically the time could have been used for writing. Once a day has come and gone, it can never be retrieved for a retry.

What I tell myself is this; if I have no life to spend with adorable wife now, what life will I have left if I succeed as a writer, but our relationship has been adversely impacted? If I always stay in, friends will eventually drift away, and should I later have more free time, they may be too busy for me. It may be retrospective justification for merely enjoying myself, but until my day time job is writing, I have to walk that tight rope. 

At some stage of the night, my mind will begin to fog up, dream clouds fill up my horizon, and I'll head to the shower, if haven't already done so earlier. The safe, cosy haven of duvets and pillows have begun calling me, like sirens of the sea, lulling me to the days end, and a seemingly endless slumber. Until once again oblivion is punctured. Once again a day must be lived, before the decisions of the night are revisited. 

To write, or not to write?